Out of Breath (The Breathing Series #3) - Rebecca Donovan

"My insides still burned. I considered what I could do to push the torment back into the dark and return to my numb state. I couldn't do it on my own. I needed help. I was desperate."
Emma Thomas is hiding. From everything and everyone... including herself. But she can't hide forever. Her past will find her, and her secrets won't remain quiet---not if she wants to be forgiven. Emma learns that honesty can hurt worse than betrayal, and the truth may cost her the only love she's ever known.

This review was written in two sections, I wrote half of it while reading and the other half when I was done. 

To start, I re-read the first two books and realized (while I have been waiting forever!), that at the end of the second book, I was angry with Emma. I don’t think I could admit that to myself the first time…I mean when you think about all she has been through, I don’t think I thought it was okay to be mad at her, but I was. I wanted to scream out, HOW COULD YOU?! How could you leave Evan there without a word, get on a plane and go? How could you break his heart after everything he’s done for you? How could you be so selfish? – Seems harsh to say to the girl who has been through everything Emma has been through, right? But the second time around I realized that is exactly how I felt. Of course this re-read also brought back the knot in my stomach I had at the end of Barely Breathing, and that knot only got worse the hours leading up to Out of Breath.

We spent a looooong time being tortured by pushed back release dates, editing, teasers and the reminders that this is Emma’s story, not Evan’s or Emma and Evan’s story. So when release day was finally here, I waited up til midnight in hopes of starting to ease the tension that had grown in my stomach.

NOPE! The suffering continued. Part of this is my fault, as a reader. I had expectations (as we all do when it comes to sequels). I knew what I wanted, and when it wasn’t happening, I was frustrated and angry. I spent so much time feeling that way, I couldn’t enjoy what I was reading.

Here’s what I didn’t like - I feel like I don’t know this Emma…she’s not the same girl I just left a few days ago (even mad at her, I would say she’s not the same person). I don’t particularly care for these new friends (though I am glad that Sara is with us via the phone). And I feel like I am getting Cole shoved down my throat. I feel like he’s too much like Evan. He’s patient with her, cares about her, lets her set the terms. I want to scream, GO AWAY COLE, I WANT EVAN!!! So I did, to my friends Trish & Cristin who patiently/virtually held my hand through this book. I thought for a while they were going to have to hold my hair back for me because I was making myself sick over this book. It was in these moments particularly that I could hear those words from Rebecca Donovan, this is Emma’s story not Evan’s story. - ugh

So, I tried to like Cole, and it’s not hard to do. He IS a good guy, and he DOES care about Emma but there were two issues….the first being he’s just not Evan and I was too closed minded to see past that, and the second was that I just didn’t like who Emma was with Cole.

WOW! That’s it…at this point, I just really don’t like Emma. It’s carry over from the end of the last book too, but right now, who she is and the way she’s acting…I just don’t like Emma. Is it okay to say that? I don’t feel bad for her right now like I did in previous books. I know what she went through was hell, I cried through the first two books with everything she went through, but even fueled by her past, these choices are hers. And they are making me dislike her.

Honestly, my insides were twisted up through this whole book, and when I finally finished it…I still felt incomplete. I felt like I was meant to suffer through this book, like that was the intention for the readers. And then the epilogue – grrrr. The epilogue felt, sort of useless to me. I mean, I got it, but there was so much more that could have been done with it. And I just didn’t feel like it was a place to end the story. After all the pain, torture and suffering, I felt like I deserved more.

So while the story was my issue, the writing was good and the interchanging POVs – which happen in a back and forth way while you are reading – were actually quite spectacular. I only did a double take on it twice, once was the first time it happened, I had to re-read it because I was confused not realizing the POV had changed to someone else. The second time I think may have been a printing error, one part that was italicized that shouldn’t have been. I have to give Rebecca some major bonus points for this because, it was truly impressive.

I know this review isn’t explaining things all that well, but my frustrations are very specific to the story, and to put them in this review would give away too much. So here’s my advice, if you’ve read the first two you obviously have to read this book but keep in mind it’s not the same story, it’s not the same Emma, and my suggestion would be to keep an open mind. I hope that will help you enjoy it more than I did.