Push - Claire Wallis

I feel like I am wrapped in a cyclone. Everything is whirling around me, drawing the air out of my lungs and filling me with the best kind of turmoil. Every time his tongue slides against mine, a prickle in my gut tells me how right we are together. How much I need David. How much I need us.

I hope the cyclone never stops.

Emma Searfoss has spent a lifetime trying to escape her abusive stepfather. It's why she moved far away from home. It's why she's kept no ties with her remaining family. And it's why she's got a major rage problem. When her neighbor shows up to fix the kitchen in her new apartment, his enigmatic charm calms the fire in her. David is cool and collected, and he makes Emma feel safe for the first time ever. But David has his own chilling past—his six previous girlfriends have all disappeared without a trace. Emma's walking a dangerous line, but David's pull is intoxicating. And impossible to resist…

I am having a hard time reviewing this book.  It’s been a couple days, I haven’t read anything else since and I can’t stop thinking about this book and how f’ed up it made me feel.  If I had to rate it as soon as I was finished I probably would have given it 3 stars…but since I’m still thinking about it now, I’m thinking that means it should go up.

Fair warning, this is not the type of love story where the two of them meet each other, help each other see their own faults and they live happily ever after in a big white castle.  NOPE! This is more like fire feeding fire and setting the whole forest ablaze.  Emma and David are both screwed up…their lives took them down paths that children should never have to travel and came out the other end of it different people because of their circumstances.  But their differences from others are what make them angry, jealous, passionate…and all around messed up!

This story is dark and different, and for that I liked it.  I liked that this wasn’t the same story I’ve read a hundred times with other character’s names attached.  The writing, well that wasn’t my favorite.  I found that sometimes I was annoyed by the choice of words or phrasing or even the way the flashbacks seemed to read more like a dear diary insert than a story being told.  Part of it may be that I also had a hard time connecting with the characters.  Based on the description I thought I would feel bad for them and what they had been through, but I didn’t.  I found myself more angry and annoyed with them, than sympathetic to them.   

That being said, I still haven’t picked up another book since I finished this one.  I will warn that this story does end on a pretty big cliffhanger… for those that want no part in that anymore – you may want to wait for book two’s publication date before diving into this one because I can tell you, you will be left wanting to know what the hell just happened. 

I’ve flipped back and forth so much on the rating that I think I’m just going to have to meet myself in the middle and go with 3.5 stars!