Until Alex - J. Nathan

 

On the outside, Hayden is every girl's living breathing fantasy, brooding and devastatingly gorgeous. He spends his nights losing himself in alcohol and faceless girls, but it's all just a facade. An elaborate cover for the emotionless shell of a man he is. One who harbors too many secrets and destroys lives the way his was destroyed. It’s the reason he avoids relationships and keeps everyone at arm's length…

Until Alex

Alex’s life just shattered into a million pieces, leaving her with more grief than she knows what to do with and guilt so deep it’s destroyed the carefree girl she once was. Now she’s hundreds of miles from home, living with an aunt she doesn't know, finishing senior year at a college she’s never been to, and trying desperately to get through a single day without breaking down. She's never felt more alone in her life...

Until Hayden

The trouble with Hayden is who he wants to be and who he is are in constant flux. And though he’d die before letting Alex learn the truth about him, he can’t be sure he's strong enough to let her in…or push her away. She’s the one person who just might see the real him 

I’m honestly kind of torn about this book.  When you read through the prologue which is Hayden’s POV…you’re immediately thrust into his broken childhood.  He lives through something no child should have to know, let alone witness.  Then to bounce around in foster care until you can finally get out…you have a real idea why life is so hard for him and why he is broken now. 

He’s had very few real relationships in his life; two really and one of them is no longer around.  The other is his trouble-maker friend Remy.  Between the two of them alcohol, drugs, girls, and together working for a bookie doesn’t add up to a healthy life. 

Until Alex comes along… 

Alex has suffered through her own tragedy, and while that storyline takes some time to unfold you can somehow just understand to be where she is not – it must have been traumatic.  

And here’s where my issue is, I think.  Because that storyline takes time to unfold…I couldn’t really feel for Alex.  Even making his bad choices, I understood why Hayden was so messed up.  With Alex, though you know it’s something and you know it’s something big…it was hard for me to identify with her.  I kept going back to, if I went through something bad (not knowing what it was), I’m not sure I would have been like she was.  But that’s me personally. 

A little more than halfway through the book, I started coming around to their friendship and the struggles Hayden had with involving anyone in his life.  I finally starting hoping the two of them would be able to make it work and get to a HEA.  I really did enjoy Hayden.  I also liked the sarcastic nature of their relationship throughout the book.  I’m always good for a little witty banter and sarcastic undertones.   

All that being said, I’d say reading the reviews (which I did after I finished), most people are giving this book 5 stars.  My 3.5 stars could very well be a case of me personally not being able to identify with a main character and therefore my personal opinion is different than the majority.  I’d say for a debut novel, it’s certainly worth giving it a read.

 

**ARC provided by Net Galley**